Wisdom to Win People [Revised Edition] Written by Baltasar Gracian / Translated by Im Jeong-jae Takers Become a person who is needed rather than a person who is grateful (Become a person who is expected and relied on rather than a person who is grateful) Do favors to potential enemies Make people with ill intentions feel grateful (Cunning in worldly affairs) Use fake foolishness to pretend to be foolish in order to gain the favor of the other person Do not reveal your true feelings (Be careful with your words and actions to suppress people's curiosity) Do not let others know about your tendencies and thoughts (If they know this, they will be targets for flattery or exploitation) Adjust relationships through requests Disguise yourself by using the skill of concession (You can control the other person's will) Ask after a meal Do favors in advance and receive compensation later Wise people have a good reputation because they give first without expecting anything in return Give first and give the impression of generosity If you give first, you will receive a favor If you give later, you will receive a reward Give favors only to those who know gratitude Excessive favors are a burden (Only as much as the other person can repay (Give more than that and it becomes a burden) If you want to break off a relationship with the other person, give them an unequal relationship by being too kind. Giving little by little and often helps maintain a good relationship. How to gain favor Don't trust others recklessly. Save favors for the moment when it's needed. If you find the other person's strengths and compliment them, they will be recognized as people with great taste. Compliments make conversations smooth. When you want to gain favor, compliments are a low-cost and high-effect method. Don't be scared and intimidated by the other person (they are also human). Trust pierces the soul. A single soft word can soften the cold air and make the other person your own (Always try to say sweet words). If you gain favor, anything can be easily accomplished. Maintaining a sense of mystery without revealing your true feelings is the way to increase favor. Tips for making friends A wise person does not associate with a foolish person (If the relationship is for pleasure rather than a relationship of trust where joy is thick, do not keep them close). A wise friend eliminates worries, but a foolish friend brings worries. A wise person makes his or her abilities known, but People do not let you know everything about yourself. This is because people respect you more when they vaguely know you than when they know you exactly. How to prepare for awkward situations When you are asked to do something, think carefully before you accept it. When refusing, take your time and be polite. Keep your refusal short (consideration is the top priority). Do not refute easily (Figure out whether the other person's accusation is sly or is intended to test their intentions.) Seize the right moment to back out (It is a good idea to pretend not to understand the request, change the subject, or laugh to avoid an awkward situation.) Act as if people are watching you even when you are alone (Know that people will immediately notice your wrongdoings and always be careful about your conduct.) Do not waste time by taking on useless tasks. Do not step forward and explain yourself unless asked (It is no different from confessing a mistake you did not make). Do not volunteer for dangerous tasks (A wise person does not fall into extremes. Think carefully for a long time before taking action.) It is safer to not take on dangerous tasks or obligations from the beginning. A wise person does dangerous tasks. I know it is easier to avoid than to overcome. Don't get close to unlucky people. (Luck comes all at once, but misfortune never comes alone.) You have to patiently overcome misfortune from heaven and avoid misfortune on earth. If you follow the actions of wise and intelligent people, it is easy to distinguish good and bad luck. Do not let others interfere in your work. Do not give others a chance to criticize (If you reveal your plans in advance, it is an excessive burden and shows all your weaknesses). Attitude toward yourself A wise person has everything he or she needs and does not ask for more (The best happiness comes from self-sufficiency). If you want to be respected, you should not expect love (If you want to be respected, you should distance yourself from intimacy and strive to gain awe and admiration). Rely on yourself (There is no better ally than a bold mind in times of trouble). Do not surrender to fate (If you surrender, fate will push us more harshly). Those who believe in themselves know how to surrender their weaknesses (Even the constellations move in their favor). Respect yourself first. Do not step forward just anywhere, do not step forward recklessly, and save your talents. You should know how to take the best from many things (This is something that people with good taste have in common). If you calmly wait for what you truly want, it will come (The same goes for human relationships). A wise person is not interested in new things. Fate changes and happiness Because we know that misfortune is not absolute. It is wise to focus only on the good results rather than being overly concerned about the process. In order to calm the passion that reveals one's character, one must admit that one is caught up in passion (just deciding to control one's emotions can calm one's anger). Know how to see things or situations positively and take advantage of them. You can tell if the other person is mature through their habits. A person's value is revealed through their moral behavior. Calmness and composure reveal mental maturity (whether or not they have a calm mind). Excessively flashy behavior can attract excessive attention and make one the center of criticism. How to enjoy it when it is unavoidable. A wise person does not act according to the other person's demands when fighting, but according to his nature (rather than trying to win the fight, he tries to impress upon others that he is an honorable and excellent warrior). Do not try to know or listen to the secrets of your superiors (secrets of your superiors are just a burden on your mind. It is human nature to distance yourself from those who see your true self and feel burdened.) When people are crazy, pretend to be crazy too (Go with the flow of the times) Learn from your competitors (How to use your enemies, understand the situation) A wise person learns more from enemies than from friendly people. Flattery is more dangerous than hatred (Because it covers up flaws) Don't show your broken fingers (Malicious people target weaknesses) Don't show a discouraged look Sometimes, pretend not to know even though you know (Don't be a petty person) If you ask in detail, the other person will get annoyed. Be capable enough, but show them in moderation. Don't be a problem solver (A person who is wanted by everyone is useless to anyone because there is a high possibility of being exploited) The brighter the torch, the more oil is consumed, and the sooner the torch goes out. Keep the door of reconciliation open to your enemies. Don't bring up other people's faults (The more you pay attention to their faults, the dirtier you become. Don't try to remember them or make a dirty blacklist) Get used to the shortcomings of your acquaintances (Each other person If you want to depend on them, you have to get used to them. Life is something you have no choice but to live with. If you get used to their annoying nature, the unpleasantness will disappear and you will be able to accept it naturally.) When misfortune strikes, don't act, but step back and wait. Wisdom that runs through life Have the confidence of a god. Happiness belongs to those who know how to wait. Don't let even a single day pass by carelessly. Fortune likes confident and proud people. Enjoy conversations with the dead (books) in the first act of your life. Enjoy the good things of the world with the living in the second act. Spend the third act of your life only for yourself. End as a happy philosopher. A wise person does easy things as if they were difficult (careful), and does difficult things as if they were easy (bold). The more you try to hide your mistakes, the more likely you are to make mistakes (You should not make mistakes twice). Don't try to own everything, but enjoy what others have (You need to have a moderate lack to have an earnest heart). If you own something, it is difficult to enjoy it and you will worry more. Things to keep in mind Good luck is easy to get, but it can easily disappear. Fame is hard to gain. Even if it's hard, it doesn't disappear easily It's better to do nothing than to be absorbed in useless things (because you can rush in when something really important comes up) There's nothing as safe as a cautious attitude How to arm yourself with the wisdom of a snake Hiding your shortcomings is also a skill (No one makes mistakes, but there's no need to tell them about them) People with a good reputation are often good at covering up their mistakes They don't even reveal their mistakes to themselves or their close friends It's also good to forget them completely When you don't know anything, choosing only certain things can give you the impression that you're a trustworthy person If you step forward without knowing much, you can invite ruin When you don't know much, choosing proven things reduces the probability of failure Distinguish between goodness and incompetence (If you don't get angry in an unfair situation, you'll be branded a fool Even birds ignore scarecrows and peck at grain) Do the most important things first (Know the priorities of work for success) Luck has its own laws (A wise person doesn't leave life to chance) Passing responsibility for failure is also a skill (The wicked do it) How to overcome an attack) When you fail, create a shield to protect yourself from failure. Succeeding and making your opponent suffer is the truly great revenge. ♬ Song source: flowmusic #The art of living #Human relationships #Wisdom of winning people #Balthazar #Wisdom of life #Classics #Luck #Happiness #Famous sayings #Chinese books #Luck #The art of living #Lee Seo-yoon #Self-development #Book introduction #Wisdom over knowledge #Book #Reading #Success #Book recommendation #Booktuber #Reading group #Reading club #Reading discussion #Famous sayings #Reading #Book coaching #Self-development #Growth #Motivation #Change #Dream #Vision #Good writing #A phrase from a book #A sentence from a book