▶ Why does the Harvard-style reading discussion method really change your life? https://cafe.naver.com/booktuber/10639 ▶ Are you curious about how to utilize the 120% of Bookchunam Butterfly School? https://link.inpock.co.kr/booktuber (click) Sign up for Bookchunam TV's free newsletter https://navischool.kr/ Sign up for Bookchunam TV channel membership https://bit.ly/3hE4usN Bookchunam TV Naver Cafe https://cafe.naver.com/booktuber Bookchunam TV Kakao Chat Room https://open.kakao.com/o/ge3nkH7 Butterfly School Online Bookstore https://navischoolbook.com/ ❤ If you found the content helpful, please join the Bookchunam TV membership and create a butterfly effect. Supporting the channel is a great help in producing good videos ❤ / @booktuber ▶ Go to the text 00:00 Intro ▶ Book Introduction The shadow is the negative or undesirable attribute that we are hiding, and the thing about ourselves that we do not like or are afraid to accept. It is also our undeveloped positive potential, the quality that we deny in ourselves and admire in others. Becoming friends with the shadow can turn fear into an ally and help us live authentically. This book shows us where the shadow appears in our personal lives, family relationships, relationships, religions, etc., and how to quietly train our minds to live with our dark side. It also provides training in going deep within, as suggested by the so-called 'philosophy of eternity'. The shadow waiting to be heard Carl Jung called our dark side our personal shadow. The shadow is everything about ourselves, whether dark or light, that we do not know or do not want to know. The shadow refers to all the positive and negative attributes, emotions, beliefs, and potentials that we refuse to acknowledge as our own. The emptiness that eats away at our spirits may be because we do not fully accept the shadow realm or do not know that we are more than we think we are. The shadow is our name-bearing personality, but it was banished long ago. We may have only revealed the personality that our parents could accept. As we grow older, we may have always insisted on self-denial in our relationships with others, partners, and colleagues. The shadow waits for the conscious to listen. It is like a courtier waiting in the king’s bedroom with a petition. Each of the courtiers has a petition for compensation or a request for adjustment of imbalance. If the King of Light makes his courtiers wait in the dark waiting room for a long time and does not welcome them, the courtiers will pace around the room, complaining or gossiping. Then they may start plotting terrible plots or treasonous conspiracies. Finding the shadow hidden in our lives Unlike other books on the shadow, this book does not focus on the savage darkness within us, but on the practical shortcomings and flaws in our daily lives, not only the invisible but also the visible within us. It does not deal with the shadow only from Jung’s perspective, and it contains original content that does not follow or imitate Jung entirely. Traditionally, the shadow dealt only with the unconscious. The author expands this to include the dark side of personality, persona, emotions, and choices that we are familiar with. The shadow determines our daily interactions and relationships more than we realize. Denying the shadow is like rubbing the back of a coin. Denying the shadow is denying our own reality. Denying our positive shadow means having low self-esteem. Here are some examples: ● Not accepting and not taking responsibility when we should ● Taking ourselves too seriously by identifying too much with our self-image or persona ● Suppressing our dark side for fear of not being accepted ● Pretending to have beliefs and virtues that we do not have ● Believing in movies that tell us that good will triumph over evil as if it were inevitable, believing that revenge is the only response to evil ● Creating a monster: When we do not acknowledge our negative shadow side and see ourselves as “higher than you” ● Idolization: When we see others as idols who transcend human limitations (Excerpt from page 186) Conflicts that arise in family relationships, marital relationships, and work life are sometimes specific points where the shadow is hidden. First, let’s look at the example of parents projecting their shadows onto their children. (An example of a father seeking his child's approval is on page 232.) Ruby sees her preteen daughter, Lynn, wearing makeup. Lynn is naively experimenting with age-appropriate methods. But Ruby sees Lynn as being unscrupulously immoral. Ruby never realizes how seductive and indulgent she is in her relationships with men. As long as Lynn is accused of being shallow, as long as Ruby chastises her, Ruby gets out of trouble. Ruby cannot accept her true self, and therefore does not allow Lynn to behave normally. When she grows up, Lynn may accuse her mother of being too strict. Lynn may not realize her mother's deeper failure, that Ruby was not strict enough with herself. Ruby and Lynn are missing the love that comes when the real "me" meets the real "you." Projection works against true love. How can Ruby and Lynn learn to relate healthily to other adults? _Page 231 Shadows also appear in many ways in marital relationships. Here is what a person who has given up on our deepest and most precious identity, our true self, looks like: (See page 246 for an example of a couple influenced by their mother’s shadow.) Ozzie’s habits are a good example of the invisible, long-term effects of the principle organized by self-denial. Ozzie is always criticizing others. He is so inferior that he has to put others down in order to elevate himself. It is an immature solution, but it appears without him knowing it. This shows how cornered and defeated Ozzie is. He has achieved great success at work, but this success does not resonate in his mind and does not increase his self-esteem. Instead, Ozzie listens only to his father’s voice, which repeatedly tells him that he will never do anything right. This is the voice that now whispers softly and constantly to him. It is a voice so deeply embedded in his weakness that he cannot easily shake it off or chase it away. Ozzie only blames his wife. When something goes wrong, he blames her. His wife has matured, but he has not. She loves him, but she is ready to leave him. She is frustrated by his boiling volatility and constant criticism. _Page 279 Becoming Friends with Your Shadow, Which Has Amazing Power You can’t know everything about your shadow. You can’t completely tame it. But you can befriend it. In fact, your shadow is a treasure trove of incredible creative power. Your negative shadow is a promise that you can find the best in the bad in you. But when rejected, its power can be destructive. To befriend your shadow, you must accept yourself. In other words, you must acknowledge and embrace your pride, egocentrism, coercion, and other dark truths that you cannot see, rather than reject or avoid them. The “Practice” section of this book presents practical methods and processes for becoming friends with your shadow. It takes you down to your basement to reclaim and use your negative shadow, and takes you up to your attic to help you use your positive shadow willingly. Here are some of the things you can do: ● List five characteristics you dislike most among the following groups: family, coworkers, same-sex friends, people you grew up with, and people who share your religion. Acknowledge that these characteristics apply to you to some degree. If they are closer to what you like, draw a picture of them and list them. If possible, share the results of this exercise with someone you trust in each category. ● Notice what your Shadow reactions reveal. “He was as gentle as a lamb until he got behind the wheel.” “He’s fine when we don’t live together.” “She’s a completely different person when she starts drinking.” What are the trigger points in your life that release negative Shadows? Trigger points can be money, sex, drugs, certain people, relationships, driving, problems with your children, religious fanaticism, and ambition at work. (Excerpt from page 32) ● Which of the following are your characteristics? The Shadow of the Ego says: Everyone must acknowledge my superiority. If I am treated unfairly, someone will make up for it. Rules don’t apply to me. Do you dare question me? If I don’t, things won’t work out. ·I deserve special treatment. ·I explode when I'm interrupted. ·I can do no wrong. ·I can't tolerate asking anyone or learning from anyone. (Excerpt from page 63) #psychology #evil #shadow #self-development #carl jung #book #bestseller #bookrecommendation #steadyseller # #asmr #self-realization #bookrecommendationman #butterflyschool #bookrecommendationman #book #reading #booktube This video was created using VREW.