Have you ever gotten into a conflict with someone when you had only good intentions at the start? That a little misplaced word was the cause of strong tensions with your partner or colleagues? As Stephen Karpman explains in his book "The Drama Triangle", it's all a question of role plays that we follow unconsciously, around three positions that we and our interlocutor can adopt at any time: the victim, the persecutor and the savior. The person who plays the Victim declares himself incapable of doing something, or of managing a situation independently. He spends more time complaining about the situation he finds himself in than looking for possible solutions. During the role play, his purpose is to reinforce his belief that he is incapable, and that others will always take advantage of his weakness. The person who plays the Persecutor criticizes, puts pressure on or coerces a victim. His purpose in the game is to reinforce the belief that things cannot move forward without aggression or violence. The person playing the Savior steps in to offer help without having the means, or without having been invited to do so. During the game, its purpose is to reinforce the belief that people are selfish and ungrateful. At the beginning of an interaction, we enter the triangle with good intentions. It is because of clumsiness, confusion, and the search for a solution that is too easy or too quick to a problem that the exchange turns into a disaster! Completely unconsciously, in the game we seek to reinforce beliefs, convictions that we unknowingly carry about ourselves and the world. The problem with these games is that the more we get into the habit of playing them, the less we will be able to communicate maturely with our interlocutor, and the more the intensity of the conflict is likely to escalate. It is also interesting to keep in mind that in a psychological game, a person often fills several roles at once. The main role is often easy to guess. But in a discreet, hidden way, the other 2 roles are also present. The Victim, for example, is also a subtle Persecutor, because she seeks to attract other people who want to help her in an extremely negative and hopeless situation, by transforming them into victims themselves. And she is also a secret Savior, for example by giving herself the role of spokesperson for those who find themselves in the same situation and who, like her, suffer from it, but who do not have the courage to express themselves. For his part, the Savior is also a secret Persecutor, by invalidating the skills or even the person of the Victim he wishes to help. By trying to want to change someone who does not want to change, he will leave behind someone frustrated. He is also a discreet Victim, since he risks remaining stuck in this role of tireless Savior, or his own objectives and needs are ignored in favor of attention to others. And finally, the Persecutor is also a secret Savior, thinking that his aggressive behavior and his impositions are the only way to resolve a situation, and that this can serve as a lesson for the Victims. He is also a hidden Victim, because he considers himself to be forced into these reactions by the incompetence of the people around him, or by the situation in which he finds himself. In the video, discover how you can stop the conflictual spiral of the dramatic triangle, to start constructive relationships, based on the compassionate triangle: Exchange the role of Persecutor with a P+ role, which corresponds to Power, Perseverance, the Project, with positive behaviors such as self-determination, strength of character, the search for a goal. Exchange the role of Savior with an S+ role, which corresponds to Finding oneself, Repairing oneself, with positive behaviors such as self-confidence and taking one's needs into account. Swap the Victim role for a V+ role, which corresponds to the acceptance of being Vulnerable and wanting to improve, with positive behaviors such as openness, humility, listening. Feel free to share in the comments a situation in which you found yourself in the role of Victim, Savior and Persecutor, and how you resolved the conflict. See you soon for new ideas. _____________________________________________________________________ Useful links: Read the book: https://amzn.to/3iROhlB Support Mind Parachutes and download the audio of this video: http://www.tipeee.com/mind-parachutes Mind map: https://mindparachutes.com/mindcartes Mind Parachutes on LinkedIn: /mind-parachutes Mind Parachutes podcast: https://anchor.fm/mindparachutes