Attachment theory argues that a strong emotional and physical bond with a primary caregiver in our early years of life is vital to our development. When our attachment is strong and solid, we feel safe to explore the world. We know there is always a safe base to which we can return at any time. When our attachment is weak, we feel insecure. We are afraid to explore a rather scary world or leave the safe haven. Because we are not sure if we can come back. People who are securely attached have greater trust, are able to form bonds with others and are therefore more successful in life. Insecure people tend to distrust others, have fewer social skills and have trouble forming relationships. There is one type of secure attachment and there are three types of insecure attachment: Insecure/Ambivalent, Insecure/Avoidant and Insecure/Disorganized. When responding to distress, the first three respond in an organized manner while the latter act in a disorganized manner. To better understand the theory, let's take a look at Mr. and Mrs. Müller, who have four children. Luka, Anna, Jakob and Julia. The Müllers are lovely parents who cuddle, have frequent eye contact, speak lovingly and are always there for their children. But one day Mr. Müller becomes very ill and dies. For Mrs. Müller, life now becomes very difficult. She works all day and tries to take care of her children at the same time. An impossible task. At 6 years old, Luka's brain is mostly developed, his character is strong and his worldview is formed. The new situation does not affect him much - he knows that there is still mother - his safe haven. He feels securely attached. Later, he becomes a trusting and optimistic young man. His self-image is positive. Ann, who is three years old, has problems coping with the new lack of attention. For Ann, her mother now seems unpredictable. She is worried about their relationship and starts to cling. To get her mother's attention, she has to raise her emotional state and scream. When her mother finally responds with a predictable reaction, she herself seems ambivalent and does not show her true feelings. Others later think that Ann is unpredictable or moody. Her self-image is less positive. Her attachment style Insecure Ambivalent. 2-year-old Jakob spends his days with his uncle, who loves him but believes that a good education is strict. When little Jakob shows too much emotion or is too loud, his uncle gets angry and sometimes punishes him. This scares Jakob. He learns that in order to avoid the fear, he must avoid showing his feelings - even in other situations. As an adult, he continues this strategy and has problems entering into relationships. His self-image is rather negative. His attachment is: Insecure Avoidant Dealing with attachment issues: Dealing with attachment issues is not an easy task. For those who feel they cannot help themselves or cannot find trust from their family partners, we recommend seeking professional support through therapy. If you are able to form a secure bond with a therapist, he or she can become the one to provide you with that safe base. Here are three possible therapies: 1. Psychoanalysis. The goal of psychoanalysis therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e. to make the unconscious conscious. To do this, the therapist might try to bring back some childhood memories to work on the root of the problem. 2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is a psychosocial intervention often used to improve mental health. Instead of trying to take you back in time, it tries to explain what is going on in your brain and how to deal with irrational feelings or fears. 3. The Hoffmann Process. Designed by American psychologist Hoffmann, this 7-8 day process takes participants back to their childhood to reconnect with their parents at the time of bond formation. It is very intense. More here: https://www.hoffman-institut.de Sources: Harvard Study: https://arizona.pure.elsevier.com/en/... Minnesota Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti... Further material: https://www.psychologistworld.com/dev...