Why and how to counter-manipulate?
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Christine Calonne (psychologist psychotherapist) describes in this video why counter-manipulation. The implicit contract between the narcissistic pervert and his prey is the sacrificial relationship, that is to say a relationship where the latter must give up his own identity to be the instrument of the PN. He wants to exploit and destroy her through this sacrifice. Getting out of this malicious power game requires identifying false promises, lies and paradoxical messages. Taking a step back and observing, noting the facts, is counter-manipulation. Feeling less guilty about the PN's messages of authority demanding perfection frees us from a childish posture in which the PN wants to place the victim. Pleasing ourselves and taking care of our needs means avoiding the role of Savior in which the PN wants to lock up his prey in order to exploit him. Giving ourselves compliments, taking initiatives for ourselves reinforces identity. This counter-manipulation aims to not feed the conflict that the PN wants to maintain in order to survive through his psychological and verbal violence. Maintaining an adult, observant position, listening to oneself is a way of not entering into the sacrificial relationship and of setting one's limits without aggression or passivity. Identifying one's emotions allows one to identify one's needs in order to set one's limits firmly. Avoiding justifications with vague words, by remaining factual, making things clear is also necessary counter-manipulation in the face of the violence of narcissistic perversion. To find out more and contact my website www.psychotherapie-calonne.be.
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