Self-esteem and its characteristics, Mustafa Malekian Mostafa Malekian/ About self-esteem and its characteristics/ Lecture on psychological measures of moral systems/ Question Institute/ Summer 2013 Mustafa Malekian's speech on the meaning of self-esteem, Self-esteem and its meanings Self-esteem itself means human being. Be dear to him; There are many discussions between philosophers and psychologists about what characteristics self-esteem should have, which I will summarize. Philosophers and psychologists believe that self-esteem should have the following components, and the more a person has these, the more self-esteem he will have: 1. A person should earnestly demand that others respect his rights. You may ask if there is anyone who does not want such a thing? The answer is that not in terms of opinion, but in terms of action, many people live in such a way that they do not mind that sometimes others do not respect their rights. For example, when someone makes a joke with another person that they don't like, but notices him and doesn't show a proper reaction, by doing this, he practically leaves his hand free in this work, which is a violation of his rights, and he comes forward every time. Mrs. Natalie Branden, one of the greatest psychologists and, according to some, a mentor to all those who work in mental health, says in her book titled Mental Health that most of the violations that are committed against human rights are authorized by the human being with his behavior (speech or deed). and it is as if he told another person in present language that I am not that strong and therefore you can violate my rights. If I don't agree with Ms. Branden that humans are like this in most of their behaviors, but I believe that humans are like this in many of their behaviors. 2️⃣ At the same time that a person believes that his current situation is not completely favorable, he should also believe that he can move towards a more favorable situation. In other words, a person should believe that he can be better than what he is, and if this happens, it is as if he has accepted two things: one is that his current situation is not the best and the other is that he is not so low that he does not have the power to move. 3️⃣ Man should believe that he can and should rely on himself and not on any other being, whether natural or supernatural. Those who have self-respect do not rely on others. The history of this article goes back to Epicurus. Man does not rely on himself only when he does not consider himself rational in terms of opinion and freedom in terms of action, even though all human beings have benefited from rationality and freedom to a sufficient extent to improve their lives, so when man has the rationality of recognition and freedom of action as required Diagnosis does not mean that a person relies on another being; When a person relies on another person, he feels weak either in knowledge or in ability or in both. In order to improve his life, man needs biological, psychological, sociological and historical freedoms, which he has enough of all of them, not that he has them 100%, but he has them in the amount that is necessary. I say this because the argument of those who stop people from relying on themselves is that human intelligence is not perfect and 100%. ⬅️ Self-reliance is achieved when four points are taken into consideration: first, that the goal or goals we have set for our life have sufficient rationality; Second, that the means we have chosen to achieve that goal or goals have sufficient rationality; Third, that the planning that we have to achieve that goal or goals has enough rationality; And the fourth is that we have the necessary ability to implement that planning. The first three points are related to rationality and the last point to freedom. If these four things are in a person, it is clear that he should not rely on others. On the other hand, it is certain that a person cannot provide one-thousandth of what he needs for his life and must reach out to others in need, but the point is that, according to psychologists, "negotiation" is not reliance; Humans have many needs for others and so do others. The two main differences between trade and reliance are that, first, in reliance, a person is only a receiver and not a giver, but in trade, he is both a receiver and a giver; Secondly, trading is in terms of means, but reliance may be in terms of the purpose of life. Therefore, you should pay attention that whenever you are dealing with the purpose of life, you should not ask for anything from anyone, because it does not fit with your self-esteem. Some psychologists have said that if someone does not have all these components of self-esteem, self-esteem will not appear in him. . In the old term, these three components provide self-esteem on the social side, not on the alternative side. I have discussed this in another place and I don't want to get into it, but I beli