Telegram channel https://t.me/spokoystvietut Vkontakte group https://vk.com/club165243874 Zen https://dzen.ru/id/5dcba1161877c954d6... Rutube https://rutube.ru/channel/23967510/ CONTACTS Personal page Vkontakte vk.com/id421256246 I'm on Telegram @Anna_Vyrovaia email: [email protected] If you want to support the development of the channel Sberbank card 4276 5214 6891 5727 Donate https://fantalks.io/r/annav Tinkoff card 5536914128470980 Navigation 0:38 What is behind the fear of condemnation and its causes. 07:01 Inner Critic 10:35 Ways to overcome the fear of condemnation. 14:15 Working with the Inner Critic. OTHER VIDEOS ON THE TOPIC: Dependence on other people's opinions • Dependence on other people's opinions. Reasons... Good girl complex • How to stop being too good for... How to treat criticism • How to treat criticism? IN THIS VIDEO: What will people think? What if I lose face, reputation? They will laugh at me, gloat. Why is other people's condemnation so scary? ✅The fear of condemnation is as ancient as the world. Rejection by a group meant death for our ancestors. This psychological legacy has not gone away. ✅Shame is the basis of the fear of condemnation. Shame may not be felt, not realized and wear a mask of fear. The highest form of shame is disgrace. Remember how our grandmothers were afraid of "disgracing themselves"? These voices still sound in the heads of many, despite the greater freedom of expression in modern society. Shame is the rules of society. It is shameful to walk down the street naked. In some mental illnesses, shame is absent. ✅ Fear of rejection. To condemn means to reject, to kick out, to abandon, to fire. Shame and fear of rejection underlie social phobia. ✅ Desire for attention. To condemn means to think, to talk about me, to pay attention. Children who lack parental attention can attract it, including through misdeeds. Mom will scold me, but at least she will not ignore me. Ignoring for such children is the worst thing. The same applies to people with a strong fear of condemnation. It is important for them to be in the center of attention, on the "stage", but this desire is blocked. Then they begin to obsessively fear other people's attention, in fact, wanting it. Such a reversal. ✅Intergenerational trauma One of the ancestors "stood out", "disgraced himself" and was punished, expelled from society. Repression, prison, etc. for going against the flow. Or the story of "brought in the hem of the lap", got divorced, cheated - a shame in those days. For some, it is the same now. ✅Strong Inner Critic. It is strong both in those who like to condemn others, and in those who are afraid of condemnation. Often, this is combined in one person - afraid of condemnation and actively condemns himself. A person either identifies with the Critic (condemnation of others), or projects it onto others (afraid of their condemnation). Why is the Critic strong? The Inner Critic is a subpersonality or a mental part. Subpersonalities are formed in early childhood based on the child's perception of loved ones. The child seems to swallow the images of the environment. And they become his internal parts, subpersonalities. Such children were often shamed, "so that he would grow up to be a man", the parents themselves were ashamed, etc. ✅ Suppressed aggression Aggression is the other side of fear. The stronger the fear, the more suppressed aggression. People who care about being "good" and "correct" usually project their "badness" or Shadow onto others. They look for enemies outside. They see aggressors and critics all around. I'm not angry, I'm good, being angry is bad, I have to be convenient for everyone, I have almost no personal boundaries, I'm afraid to offend someone. Otherwise they will punish me. And what to do with aggression? It is in every person. It must be appropriated, used for protection, as strength and energy. Instead of suppression, projection onto others, outbursts of rage or a symptom. You may have searched for: negative thoughts, obsessive thoughts, how to get rid of obsessive thoughts, inferiority complex, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, how to raise self-esteem, how to overcome fear, psychology of fear, personality psychology, psychology for women, fear of rejection, female psychology, female self-esteem, self-criticism, how to overcome fear, psychoanalysis, analytical psychology, depth psychology, normal self-esteem, adequate self-esteem, self-confidence, fear of public speaking, fear of criticism, fear of dismissal, how to overcome fear, self-improvement, phobias, how to get rid of anxiety, phobia, how to become self-confident, mindfulness, how to get rid of fears, subpersonalities, agoraphobia, VSD, practical psychology, psychotherapy in Russia.