Coffee Break with Kasia Miller Podcast: The Curse of Being Nice – Does It Affect You, Too?

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Zwierciadło

Published on Premiered Jan 10, 2023
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[Paid cooperation] Be nice – we hear from an early age: from parents, guardians, teachers, in a word – from society. So we try: we hide our feelings in an apron, we say “yes” when we want to say “no”, we put on a good face when we play badly and smile through tears. However, in the long run, it does not serve us or others. It deprives us of energy and makes us transparent – ​​we do not really know what we like, what our opinions are, what makes us happy and what makes us angry – it gives others the false impression that everything is OK, even when it is not OK. “That is how I was raised and only now, at the age of 30, do I see that all the time, trying to please everyone around me, I was living a life that was not my own,” a listener writes to us. “Empathy is a great thing, but at some point I went too far with it. I wanted everyone to be happy, and that is impossible,” says actress Maria Dębska in an interview for “Zwierciadło”. And therapist Jacqui Marson, author of “Being Nice Is a Curse,” notes, “Many Nice People feel trapped by other people’s expectations that they always behave in a certain way: hard-working, helpful, polite, caring, funny, etc. And this can negatively impact Nice People’s health, happiness, and relationships.” Is this a uniquely female problem? Where is the line between respecting others and respecting yourself? How can you break free from the curse of being nice?

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