What is Tantric Sex? “Tantra is the natural way to God, the ordinary way to God. The goal is to become so spontaneous, so beyond the mind, that we become absorbed in the ultimate – that the woman disappears and becomes the door to the ultimate, the man disappears and becomes the door to the ultimate. This is a tantric definition of our sexuality: to return to total innocence, to total oneness. The greatest sexual excitement is not the search for more and more excitement, but a silent waiting – total relaxation, totality beyond the mind. In this you are awake, aware of your awareness. You are simply conscious. You are satisfied, but that satisfaction is without reason. And then there is a great beauty in it, a great blessing. The questioner has asked: 'What is tantric sex…a meditation based on certain techniques? If you are very technique-oriented you will miss the secrets of Tantra. Tantra which is based on technique is false tantra, it is pseudo-tantra because if there are techniques there will be ego which will control you. Then you will be the doer – and doing is the problem, doing brings the doer. In tantra there should not be doing; it cannot be technique. You can learn techniques – you can learn to breathe in a particular way so that coitus becomes longer. If you breathe very slowly, if you breathe without any hurry then coitus will become longer, but you are controlling it. Then it will not be uncontrolled and innocent. You cannot breathe fast either, you have to keep your breathing slow – if the breathing is slow it will take longer to ejaculate, because for ejaculation to happen the breathing must be fast and chaotic. Now, this is a technique but not tantra. Tantra is not a technique but a prayer. It is not done with the mind but it is to relax within your heart. Please remember this. Many books have been written on Tantra, they all talk about techniques but real Tantra has nothing to do with techniques. Nothing can be written about real Tantra, real Tantra has to be internalized. How to internalize real Tantra? For this you have to change your whole attitude. Pray with your girlfriend, sing with your girlfriend, play with your girlfriend, dance with your girlfriend, without any thought of sex. Don't go on thinking, 'When will we go to bed?' Forget it. Do something else and get lost in it. And one day in this loss love will arise, suddenly you will see that you are making love and you are not the one doing it. It is just happening, you are possessed by it. Then this is your first Tantra experience – possessed by something greater than yourself. You were singing and dancing together or doing something together or praying and chanting together or meditating together, and suddenly both of you find that you have reached a new sky. And you don't know when you are absorbed in lovemaking; you don't remember anything. Then you are under the influence of the energy of Tantra. And then for the first time you will see that non-technical experience.